A Craving for Kisses

Urgh! I can't even tell you what mood I'm in because I don't freaking no!!!

1) I'm bored and have nothing to do now until I go back to Uni...which I wish was soo much closer.
2) It's only Wednesday which means I'm only half way through this lonliness and despeair that's slowly eating away inside of me.
3) I feel shit and guilty for wishing I got away from my house and family. I love my family loads, but my independance is amazing. And being with Sean is amazing...and....urgh!!!!!
4)It's Sean's birthday today, his first birthday whilst we've been going out and I'm not with him. Which means that I'm in a depressed state, but he's all happy and seeing people to text me, and I don't wanna put him on a downer on his birthday by being sad and lonely...so I have to fight this one out on my own :(
5) I've discovered that I'll probably never be with Sean on his actual birthday until I finish Uni, because he'll either be at home for Dev Week, or he'll be wanted at home anyway by his parents. And therefore I have to take the back seat there...¬¬
6)He's not texting me AT ALL when I want to see his tattoo and talk to him on his birthday....

I give up so much :(

I just want to cry and throw something heavy at something.

Not a healthy attitude really.

I'm just gonna leave him too all his happiness surrounded by all his loved ones though.

Happy Birthday Sean :D

I just need to get back into my comfort zone...I need my loved ones :(

Plus that bitch of 'trash' is re-trying to piss me off again. Stalking his profile, having a go at ME for being on his profile...Errr...GIRLFRIEND love...I can do what the fuck I want and if you have an issue with that I'll be glad to 'sort' it out for you :D

I have a line of inspiration for me to keep focused on however:

"I am the one who has Sean for myself. She can't bother me because at the end of the day I'm the one who can say that I am the one who has what she wants...something she will NEVER have no matter how hard she tries"


So I miss him loads and you have no idea how much I'm craving a kiss or just him touching me...
Like Bella so correctly says in Twilight..."It was like I was in pain and when he held my hand, his touch put out the pain that I was in..."

Bella...you have no idea how right you are....

xxxx