Fairytales

Meh...it's going to be one of those weeks which drag on when I really need it to rush bye...

I have to start with one thing:
Sean, I know I was off on the phone,and I guess there is something up with me, but it's so pathetic or wimpy that it was waaaay to embarassing to explain over the phone. So i'll say it on here where I can hide from my own stupidness...

I miss you, plain and simple as. But it's really really REALLY missing you. Like I said, I'm not getting that paranoid about the lack of text, because..so far you've had good reason too. I thought I was getting better at the whole 'try not too be possesive and scary' and at first it seemed ok. But instead its when I'm alone I get down and end up crying. You have no idea how many times I've broken down. It's like somebody died. You can't contact them hence not getting upset, but instead getting flooded with emotion.

And I guess on the phone, I was hoping to get a proper conversation out off you, as the past two days it's be short and sweet calls, just to hear each other...but when you were tired and not talkative...it kinda seemed pointless. I did enjoy it, put it totally burst my idea fairytale bubble :(

I'm just down I guess. The next few weeks might get better...?

Anyway...I need to get home and away from this place. Their are no memories of you at home and I can relax and go back to the world I lived in before I came to Uni. I want my mum, to cook me decent meals instead of what my tea consisted off today (pasta n tuna, then jam on toast, then a shit chip buttie)
I want to see my sisters and talk and catch up.
I even want to get bullied by my annoying dad :D

I want to see my friends and hang out and catch up. At least I can have something new at home and keep myself pre-occupied. Not that I don't want to be reminded of you (to reference previous line) but this times it's hard...only because I know how hard it was at Xmas...and I don't want to resort to the girl I was then...

To refer back to the title...I watched Enchanted last night, and it got ideas in my head. So I had the weirdest dream ever...which could also be due to the dream catcher I bought myself yesterday.

So I was in Uni by myself and my dad came to pick me up. I was sad to be leaving and the whole way home consisted of me being sad. As we pulled up into my house there was a unusual car outside my house. I waslked in expecting it to be nexst door neighbors visitors, but then you were in my living room and it became all fairytale-ish. With the kissing and twirling and all that.

It was a nice dream, but only upset me more in the long run. My body and mind are joined to be against me really.

Now to go over the past two days...and I'm thinking 'Big Brother' style.

Day 3 in the Big Cheyney House
Yesterday, Rhian woke quite early to go shopping with her friend. She returned to the BCH at 1.30 ladened with alot of things. A skirt, a dream catcher, lots of cookies, and a bag from Anne Summers, which she will not go into :P

Then next few hours consisted of typing up some work and then relxing in her room by doing quite an impressive bit of stitching.
Rhian then recieved a short phone-call from her boyfriend which made her happy as she was suprised, and she was glad to hear he had fun and that was now in love with wedding. Her mind filled with all the lovey-dovey rubbish, which is reality will never happen, becasue boys do not understand the female mind.

She then continued to stitch and relax till it got ot silly oclock (12.40) and went to bed.

This morning she woke at 10.45 but remained in her bed on the pc, in her pj's till about 12.45 where, feeling quite lazy she got dressed, but carried on no the pc. She then left the BCH to wash her clothes, returning at some periods when there was nothing to do. She then talked to her bf's cousin all day, making her more sad, as this cousin loves her bf and talks about him waaay to much.

She then continued to work and completed her assignment which made her very happy. Then at about 8.30 she decided to make her crappy tea :( but not before recieving the happy/sad phonecall from her boyfriend and now she is sat at her pc feeling very lonely and sad and would like a hug...and is now very upset becasue my i-tunes should learn to understand her emotions and not put depressing McFLY songs on where there is a line going 'All my days have turned into nights, because living without you in my life....'!!!! Humph.....!?!?!?

I need to chill...I cannto carry on like this. So I'm going to stick to the plan I was following and that Sean suggested today. Countdown this week. Then countdown to important things and time should go more quickly...hopefully.

Keep an eye out...and I'll try to be more positive. But as I have nobody to talk to this blog is the only place to rant.

Kerry...it will be your turn next week :P

Love ya xxxx