Drunken-ness

Ok, so this blog may have a few issues (typo's, spelling errors...the such) more than usual because of last night and the noggin' isn't in full working mode.

So my plast blog was on Wednesday...and I really can't tell you what I did on Thursday...becasue I can't remember haha *thinks*........I think me n my mother had a day off and did some work...I think :O nopes...no idea :D

Yesterday was amazing however. firstly me n my mummy went to Home Bargains...thee cheapest shop ever where I get all my uni stuff. Like 16 rolls of toilet paper for £3. My housemates next year are gonna love me ;)

Then we went to Asda where my mum treated me to a very nice new top (only because I was admiring it's beauty then complaining how I had no cash :D)...but I am very grateful :D

I am a bit put out because the money I thought I had has been drastically reduced becasue of my phone bill I totally forgot about, so my budget for this week is hardly anything (about £20) till I go to Sean in 6 days! Then I have about £100 quid to spend on those wonderful, amazing (hopefully...) 10 days in the land of ham :D

Yesterday evening I had my Sixth Form presentation evening where I got to chat to my good ol' friends from high school/sixth form...which was basically Kerry :D haha. And the few teachers that did turn up. I recieved my away which I am actually quite proud off no matter how much of a sympathy award it was. Jenny got a few in other subjects and did obviously better than me in the long run and the final grade. And maybe because one of my teachers is my next door neighbor :/

But it was fun overall :D

Then I went to Rochdale town for boozing with my mum where I got ever so tipsy off 11 WKD type drinks haha. I thought I was gonna be left out a bit with mum n her friend but it actually was amazing and a fun night. However I do miss the company and the fun I have with Sean and my friends. It's like two different types of 'going out' with your friends and your mum. With my friends I try to be protective and make sure people are ok and safe and get home safe. With my mum I can be more care-free as I'm the child in the situation and I don't have to worry as much :D

Stumbling home through the doors and defeating gravity by falling up the stairs, all the time with mum shouting "Ssssssshhh!!!" as we got home...was quite funny and then just dying on my bed.

Actually...sleep was quite bad. My stomach was very unsettled and after finally getting everyone to stop texting me...and after I called Sean *woops* I went to bed, then a hour later I woke with the awful feeling to throw up. You'll be glad to know it wasn't that bad. Just a bit of wretching and a little sick...which was bright red! In my drunken stupor I thought I was bleeding to death from the throat/stomach...until I realised that the majority of drinks I had were luminous red :D

This morning I woke up at the untatural time (even for me...) at 8.45, and then tried to get back to sleep, which was quite unsuccessful :/

So now I am in my scruffs, the hair is tied up and no makeup...:S my stomach feels a little uneasy even after my yummy bacon buttie.

I feel like a porcelean doll. So fragile and breakable...even before going on to the pale, cold skin :D (omg, I'm a Twilight Vampire ;D)

I miss Sean greatly which is hard at the moment, knowing that I only have 6 days. So close but still so far...it's just out of reach :S I'm so nervous but so excited.

Ah well...I will get back soon where it will be even closer.

Bye bye for now my lovies :)
xxxx

Looooooooooong Day

Title says it all.

I'm in a odd sort of mood. Kinda snappy, kinda down, then kinda happy...(all at different times of course) I just don't know what to do :/

I had a weird dream last night. I turned up at Sean's house at the train station (which looked oddly like Manchester Vic) and I catch Sean making out with Jenna :O
Which of course is stupid...because nobody would cheat on somebody in plain view of where there meeting their girlfriend :S

I don't even think Sean would cheat...but it's hard to not get a little paranoid when you live soooo far away from each other. I have ultimate trust in him, aparently my mind doesn't. I hadn't even thought this until this morning...which is probably wy I'm grouchy.

He could be doing anything and just telling me a story. But I honestly think he is waay too in love with me and he has too many people to notice...but then again he's managed it twice before me...so you never know.

I'm soooo confused. Plus I feel sick now :(

Let me just get this clear: Sean, I don't think you're gonna cheat or have on me, and you know if you do I'm not gonna give you another chance. And I'm not even thinking you have been cheating. I'm just explaining why I could be dreaming such odd things.

Because you could just be thinking the same thing about me, as our pasts are very similar in the long shot of bf/gf's and shizzle like that.

*sigh*

My dad's watching the news = more depressing.

It was fun Kerry's :D we watched Twilight and New Moon...or some of it, we were talking alot :D

Was a fun catch up night, and then yesterday I went for a walk with my rents :D

Today I've just been doing some of my assingments....boring :O

xxx

New Moon

Yess..I have bought it..the film I've been anticipating for so long. New Moon-age! I can go with my Twilight DVD. And tonight I'm having a Twilight sesh with my good friend Kerry :D

So I've been home since Friday night. And in some ways it's good and some ways I want it to pick up and get me on my way to Sean's. Been shopping Saturday, Sunday, but today I got a little time off.

Saturday we went Bury, where I got a super-man t-shirt :P and then Sunday we went to Junction 32 where I got all the Busted CD's (i know...lololololllll) and a new series of vampire books I'm going to read once I finish re-reading Twilight Saga :D

today I dragged my rents out for shopping and wernt and bought the New moon DVD :D soooo happy. Plus my graphic novel of twilight has arrived and I've already read it and it's fantastic!!!

I havn't read Twilight in a while..and am re falling in love with all the beautiful things that are said. But as Kerry said, I am Bella and Sean is my Edward...(apart from Sean doesn't really have the vocabulary to speak things so beautiful) lol...no man has. It's all a lie all these romance novels :P

Aaaaagh Twilight :D

Anyway, have not much to say...ooh other than 11 DAYS!!!!!!!!

Countdown begins tmoz :D

I'll see ya laterz :D

xxxxxxx

On my way home...

I'm sooo freaking tired. It's all those days of nothingness and then BAM!! Thursday and Friday we have freakin' loads of lectures and shizzle. I'm dying....*yawn*

Wednesday was reall the same as Saturday, Sunday, monday and Tuesday. Nothing happened and it was quite dull and boring overall.

Thursday I had to get up for lectures...I had to ACTUALLY set an alarm. But I've finished one of my assignments, and the one I'm doing at the moment is quite easy. So that should be done very soon...hopefully :P

Today I had Reaseheath where we walked doggies :D I got a really excited spaniel. She was gorgeous but a pain in the arse :P then we just cleaned out the meerkats and bat-eared foxes...and now I'm really really tired.

Kind of weird dream last night...I say 'dream' as far-fetched as possible. It was kind of mid-conciousness where your dozing so you're able to think but then sleep starts to take over so they get a little weird :D

I was listening to my music on i-pod :D and I have a habit to make up scenarios in my head to the tunage. I was in a lovey dovey mood and was just thinking up things at Sean's house when I go down. And there was a bit in the woods going for a walk and then all off a sudden there were huge chicken eggs next to the trees. And when I say huge, I mean like HUGEEEE! Taller than us and really fat. I have no idea why they were there, but me and Sean had to go find them. But the thing is that was probably when I slipped out of conciousness as I can't rememeber anything else :/

I like the begininig bit...was me meeting the family and really impressing them...rather than what WILL happen, and I'll get laughed at for being really common and I'll get judged based on previous girlfriends...:(

Meh...I will not dwell on that just yet...maybe next next week :P

Just a short blog as there really is nothing to say...other than I can't wait to go home but I have a few hours still as my Dad aint picking me up till 10ish. *yaaaaaaawn*

Byeeee
xxxx

Dreams =3

I promise Kerry...this is a positive blog :D

Ok...so my mood is WAAAAAAAAY better than my last mumble :D

Day 5 in the Big Cheyney House

Yesterday I did absolute feck all, which in one way I feel a tad guilty as it felt like a wasted day, but as in most days I usually do something, this was the first day to do nothing and I thouroughly enjoyed it :D

I played on Sims 2 all day and progressed very far :D I did a bit of stitching, but I got a sore back from leaning over too long and had to stop.

I also finished my Vampire book, which I guess was my achievement for the day :D am reading a scientificy one now...but you really have to be in the mood for it as it's still a little bit like learning :O

The sun is out and it's nice and warm. I can see my local visitor Squirrel in the garden and I'm generally in a positive mood.

I've done quite a bit on my new assignment and have stopped for the day, and will carry on tmoz :D I'm on track with everything, and apart from Sean not being with me, everything seems fine. I'm even excited to go home as long as I keep myself buisy and am not sat bored round the house.

So I have happy Jona Brother music and I'm enjoying dancing on my bed :)

Sean sent me some lovely photos...so I'm also a little 'wanting' atm...but I will pull through :D *sings to jonas Brothers - please be miiiiine!!!!*

Plus as off yet I still havn't had a paranoid text fest with Sean...like begging for texts, which makes me feel better as a girlfriend :D plus his texting back is quite fine for me...not obsessive, every second texts (like some idiots ¬¬) but there nice...quick conversations that are just....nice. It's hard to explain, but it seems we have got the balance right. (PLEASE DON'T LET THIS JINX IT)
I'm not annoying Sean (he says he likes it but I reckon he gets annoyed...sometimes) and he's not ignoring me :D happee times :D :) :) :)

So now, to explain my title...so ever since I got that dream catcher I've had a strange dream the two nights ago which, of course, I shall explain (BTW...can I say how funnee Snow Patrol's version of 'Crazy In Love' is...???)

Sunday 14th Night Dream:
So this was a weird Avatar, insecty-ness thing.
It was me, my good friend Kerry, and Megan and we were in a cinema apart from there were stalls everywhere, like when you go to a Uni open day and there is loads of free shit everywhere. Us three were in a rush, telling people to move and that they were going to be late, all the time we were running so we wouldn't be late. We come to some big doors where, this woman (who happened to be the Rainbow leader at my Guides) was sat near a table handing out bracelets which had our names on. We put them on and she started a chat with me but we had to rush so we burst through the doors. Then inside it looked like changing rooms at a swimming pool.

We got changed into clothes that you would wear swimming (bikini, costume...etc) but they were green. Then we turned back and quickly walked through the doors where everyone was now going in the same direction. There were oxygen tanks on the walls at different intervals and I saw soome girl fall to the floor and her friends put the oxygen thing in her mouth and they carried on walking. Slowly, I noticed that me, Kerry and Megan started to turn green. Similar to Avatar..but green, with dark green stripes over our body. Hair went green, eyes went yellow and more cat-like. Nails grew longer and went pale green. Then things began to sprout from out body. On our elbows and shoulders, the back of our arms and legs...green spike-like things.

Yet me and Kerry didn't seem bothered, but Megan was slightly worried, but as if she knew this was supposed to happen but just hadn't experianced it yet.

Suddenly there was a crushing pain in my chest which happened around the same time as Kerry and Megan. It was our lungs deflating and shrinking and gill like formations sprouting on our neck. I say something to Megan, whilst trying to keep my face straight and brave, 'i know it's painful, but you'll get used to it'. I give Megan a few breaths from a nearbye oxygen tank and she feels better.

Then we run through some more double doors which have vines and flowers growing round it. We push through to see a beautiful rainforest like habitat (still inside the building as you can see walls and windows). There are groups of these beings..and other creatures. We cross a small lake over stepping stones. I have to catch Megan as her foot slips into the water, and a big mouth with sharp teeth comes up (which i presume was another evolved creature..if thats what we are :S)

We walk to a group of large leaves where simial people are making nests with leaves and flowers. Kerry goes off to find her family and I find mine. Though when I get there, there are two large nests and one little one. The scary thing is, my parents and Cerys are sat in one...and Sean and his family are in another.

My dad then explains to me that there is some ritual about 'crossing over the nest'. Which...without scaring anybody (though this dream might do it anyway) is a ceremony for me and Sean to leave our family nests and start our own..hence the small one which was built for us. I didn't dream a ceremony, just that me and Sean go and sit in our nest and my mum says that it is for us to build up, year after year, so that eventually they will be as big as theirs. Then we just curl up together and go to sleep (which is also odd as the nests were pretty open and faced our parents...:/


:D So my dreams arn't usually THAT vivid D: I've never even seen Avatar....!!!

So....I hope you enjoyed story-time :D it kept me entertained during my sleep, I can tell you that :O

Talk again in another two days :D

xxxxxxx

Fairytales

Meh...it's going to be one of those weeks which drag on when I really need it to rush bye...

I have to start with one thing:
Sean, I know I was off on the phone,and I guess there is something up with me, but it's so pathetic or wimpy that it was waaaay to embarassing to explain over the phone. So i'll say it on here where I can hide from my own stupidness...

I miss you, plain and simple as. But it's really really REALLY missing you. Like I said, I'm not getting that paranoid about the lack of text, because..so far you've had good reason too. I thought I was getting better at the whole 'try not too be possesive and scary' and at first it seemed ok. But instead its when I'm alone I get down and end up crying. You have no idea how many times I've broken down. It's like somebody died. You can't contact them hence not getting upset, but instead getting flooded with emotion.

And I guess on the phone, I was hoping to get a proper conversation out off you, as the past two days it's be short and sweet calls, just to hear each other...but when you were tired and not talkative...it kinda seemed pointless. I did enjoy it, put it totally burst my idea fairytale bubble :(

I'm just down I guess. The next few weeks might get better...?

Anyway...I need to get home and away from this place. Their are no memories of you at home and I can relax and go back to the world I lived in before I came to Uni. I want my mum, to cook me decent meals instead of what my tea consisted off today (pasta n tuna, then jam on toast, then a shit chip buttie)
I want to see my sisters and talk and catch up.
I even want to get bullied by my annoying dad :D

I want to see my friends and hang out and catch up. At least I can have something new at home and keep myself pre-occupied. Not that I don't want to be reminded of you (to reference previous line) but this times it's hard...only because I know how hard it was at Xmas...and I don't want to resort to the girl I was then...

To refer back to the title...I watched Enchanted last night, and it got ideas in my head. So I had the weirdest dream ever...which could also be due to the dream catcher I bought myself yesterday.

So I was in Uni by myself and my dad came to pick me up. I was sad to be leaving and the whole way home consisted of me being sad. As we pulled up into my house there was a unusual car outside my house. I waslked in expecting it to be nexst door neighbors visitors, but then you were in my living room and it became all fairytale-ish. With the kissing and twirling and all that.

It was a nice dream, but only upset me more in the long run. My body and mind are joined to be against me really.

Now to go over the past two days...and I'm thinking 'Big Brother' style.

Day 3 in the Big Cheyney House
Yesterday, Rhian woke quite early to go shopping with her friend. She returned to the BCH at 1.30 ladened with alot of things. A skirt, a dream catcher, lots of cookies, and a bag from Anne Summers, which she will not go into :P

Then next few hours consisted of typing up some work and then relxing in her room by doing quite an impressive bit of stitching.
Rhian then recieved a short phone-call from her boyfriend which made her happy as she was suprised, and she was glad to hear he had fun and that was now in love with wedding. Her mind filled with all the lovey-dovey rubbish, which is reality will never happen, becasue boys do not understand the female mind.

She then continued to stitch and relax till it got ot silly oclock (12.40) and went to bed.

This morning she woke at 10.45 but remained in her bed on the pc, in her pj's till about 12.45 where, feeling quite lazy she got dressed, but carried on no the pc. She then left the BCH to wash her clothes, returning at some periods when there was nothing to do. She then talked to her bf's cousin all day, making her more sad, as this cousin loves her bf and talks about him waaay to much.

She then continued to work and completed her assignment which made her very happy. Then at about 8.30 she decided to make her crappy tea :( but not before recieving the happy/sad phonecall from her boyfriend and now she is sat at her pc feeling very lonely and sad and would like a hug...and is now very upset becasue my i-tunes should learn to understand her emotions and not put depressing McFLY songs on where there is a line going 'All my days have turned into nights, because living without you in my life....'!!!! Humph.....!?!?!?

I need to chill...I cannto carry on like this. So I'm going to stick to the plan I was following and that Sean suggested today. Countdown this week. Then countdown to important things and time should go more quickly...hopefully.

Keep an eye out...and I'll try to be more positive. But as I have nobody to talk to this blog is the only place to rant.

Kerry...it will be your turn next week :P

Love ya xxxx

Waaaa *sob sob*

He's left....he bloody left me again :( not fair.

... :( :( :(

Past week has been a blur, been very slow apart from Wednesday night where we went out dressed as Muppets for Scott's 19th. Was ok, apart from Sean getting pissed and throwing up around my bedroom...and of course, me having to co-ordinate him ¬¬ and as usual I threw up again...I'm getting concerned :O

Today was Reaseheath, spent with less people and myself being alone :( but was cool because we got to handle, fly and feed this gorgous harris hawk called Axel :D then I cleaned out the Servals bedroom...he kept hissing at me...was funnee :D

Have a major headache and the coach ride home was bad and made my stomach VERY uneasy, so not sure if I'll end up hurling my guts up later :S

However, am glad my period came on. It was too days late and I was shitting myself. I know way was I pregnant, and the thought only crossed my mind once or twice, but I was worried as to what it's delay was...did it just want to cause me that much extra discomfort, plus throw in a bit of worrying/panicking...thanks body :(

And the past week I was like "I want my period to start..." and now I'm like "I want it to fuck off!!!"

Tmoz I'm going shopping to cheer myself up with my friend Emma, whilst picking up some photos from post office. This will probably make me sad as most of them are me and Sean...and that is going to be difficult.

Woke up at 5 to see him off, all the while fighting sleep, and the tears. When he left at 6ish...i don't think I got to sleep from the crying till 7. So am also a little tired and grouchy today.

So the plan for tonight...already in my comfies :) then finish up on pc, slap a film on, have my tea (stop listening to bloody romantic Westlife music which only makes it all worse) and x-stitch.

Hopefully the next week will speed up as I'll keep myself entertained with Uni. Then the week after I'm home, and my mum is off so I can distract myself. Then over the two weeks at home, I shall meet up with my good friend Kerry :D and do stuff. then the last week I am reunited with Sean in (hopefull) Southampton :D am scared, but also excited...as is expected.

Shall keep you updated...and Kerry, sorry if this was too sad...I tried to write down how I was feeling without over slushy stuff...it's written basically how it is....apart from this:

I LOVE SEAN SO MUCH AND MISS HIM AND WANT TO CRY!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx

Ararrgargrgrarrgg!!!

Yes, well I think the title covers it...

My mood is fuuuucked up :( it's one of those weeks...you know? The one's where you bleed uncolntolably from the nether regions :( and therefore I want to rip peoples heads off which, for his unfortunatness, is poor Sean. The amount of bickers we've had over 'feck all'. And the sad thing is, I know that I'm usually the one to cause it, and that it was uberly pathetic...but I'm too stubborn and wound up in general to admit it's my fault and I was wrong and therefore am sticking to my battle.

Sean isn't here...which sucks...the first time...in like forever. He's writing some Best Man speech...and I'd usually go with him to his house. I don't know why I didn't. I've finished my work, and I could have taken it with me...but I got the impression he wanted to be 'alone...'...I think I might have scared him away and he wanted some time away from the ticking time-bomb :( which is sad because I always try not to be a full-super bitch :(

Well the past week has be ok. Last week involved lectures and the highlight was the amazing house party we had on Thursdya where Rhian got very druuuunk :D (see videos on Facebook)...urgh I'm embarrassing :P

Then the hangover day when I was in Reaseheath..which involved alot of mucking out and handling frogs...¬¬ not 'that' interesting to be quite honest.

The weekend involved shopping for food and comforting my poor Imo :( then I cooked me and Sean a curry (including Naan Bread!!) and then yummy trifle :D and then Sunday involved our speciality of pasta bake AND garlic bread...(but no dessert..but a bit of booze)

And now today is the day my body empties itself of all its lovlyness and kills me whilst it does it...:(, plus i got a bloody painful paper cut, and the day just doesn't seem to be going that well. But I managed to get out of my practical lesson early because we got all the work done so that was a positive.

I've done some of my Squirrel assignment which makes me feel better and more productive...but after a hour of writing down what I saw squirrels doing...I gave up :D but I shall finish it on Wednesday for Thursday.

I'm gonna be down all week. Hormones are raging and Sean's leaving a week early (again!! but for more legit reasons...) this Friday...so added with my period I am evidently a emotional reck.

I'll pull through...it's gonna be three weeks like at Xmas...but one week will be spent at Uni where I can pass time better, and then two weeks at home, where I go back to being treated slightly like a child ¬¬ but I am going to keep myself busy and meet my Kerry :D and do all those assignments :O

And then it's a week to Southampton where I will shut down, go very pale and be very quiet :*( *help meeeeee*

I'll keep you updated!

xxxx

Procrastination ¬¬

Yes so as the title suggests...I'm supposed to be doing some of my assingment..but I can't be bothered :(

Bloody, explain how to look after Chinchillas, Goats and Monkeys...:O I have till april and have nearly done it...but I promised myself and Sean that I would get to 1,500 words today so I WILL do it...eventually :D but the suns out and it's kind of warm and I am soooo bored :P

This week has been meh lol. Reaseheath was ok...we played with porcupines :D Saturday me n Sean wandered round town, then Sunday we did some of our assignment and now its monday and I'm still doing my assignment :(

But I have bought tickets to go see Seanie over the Easter Holidays :D yay!! Should be fun and for a whole week :D :D :D
Am very nervous though...and I'm getting dragged to 2 (yes two!!!!)bloody Southampton football games.

He's gonna owe me majorly :P

I thought I'd write a blog as I havn't posted in a while...but there's really been nothing to post for haha :D

I'll see ya later :D xxxxx